Dear No. 3,You are such a good boy. Your kisses are the wettest. Your hugs are so tight. Your impish grin is the cutest on the planet. And though you are just 2 years old, you are already valiantly fighting the concupiscence which makes your little soul weak to the temptations of the kitchen cabinetry. Fight on, little one!
On that note. . . remember when Daddy installed all those child-proof locks on all of our cabinet doors to keep you safe from the dangerous poisonous chemicals and to keep the pots and pans and tupperware safe from you? And remember when after only a day or two, you figured out how to maneuver the locks and open the fortressed cabinets anyway? And remember when, after that, we put a big tall baby gate in the doorway of the kitchen to keep you out. . .until, of course, you figured out that you could climb over the baby gate? And remember how after the baby gate became obsolete, Mommy sucked it up and realized that maybe you just need to be able to pull out all of the pots and pans and tupperware sometimes, so I bought just one of those super-duper baby proof apparatuses to keep you out of the “dangerous poisonous chemical” cabinet, thus allowing you access to all the cabinets except that really dangerous and poisonous one? And remember how Mommy can now only open the dangerous poisonous chemical cabinet a teeny-weeny little bit --just enough to squeeze my hand inside to get some dishwasher detergent because apparently the new safety apparatus is Mommy-proof, too? Remember all that?
Well, it seems that because of the baby/Mommy-proof thing, I can’t for the life of me reach the way back of the dangerous poisonous cabinet to get my nail polish remover. It’s summer, son, and I need to redo my toenails. I'm really happy that our latest child saftey precaution method is working out, but do you have any suggestions?
Love, Mommy
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