Fair Warning

In the car today, on the way to Sam's Club.

Me: Guys, if you behave and do not ask for things, I will get you a pretzel at Sam's.

#2: Can I have my own? (sort of breaking the second part of the deal, right off the bat)

Me: No, you may not. I will cut it in half for you and your brother to share.

#2: With your hand?. . . 'cause you don't even have a knife at Sam's.

Me: Yes, with my hand. . .Didn't you know that I'm a ninja?

#2: (eyes widen in awe, but then narrow for further questioning) Hmmm. . .then why don't you always do all your ninja moves?

Me: (lying, but totally worth it) Well, because I'm a secret ninja.

#2: Oh.

Me: I can't really do my ninja moves in public, then everyone will know that I'm a ninja.

#2: Oh yeah. Well, you could practice on Daddy, I won't tell him.

This is fair warning. ;-)